Maygen Steed learned early on that beauty begins within.
However, her road to self-love and finding love with Alopecia hasn’t always been an easy one.
At just two-years-old, the Chisum Middle School teacher lost all her hair including her eyelashes and eyebrows. But she wasn’t “officially” diagnosed with Alopecia until she was four-years-old
“I remember feeling sorry for myself sometimes because all I wanted was to wear my hair in pigtails or a high ponytail, but I couldn’t because my bald spots would show,” said Steed. “Over time, a lot of my hair grew back but there were a handful of quarter-sized bald spots on my head.”
Even with no hair, life was mostly normal for Steed who said she had a supportive group around her in school.
“I was very fortunate that I wasn’t ever really bullied for being different. There were times where people would be mean but I had so much support surrounding me that it didn’t hurt so bad.”
But soon after her thirteenth birthday, her world turned upside when she woke up and found handfuls of hair lying on her pillow.
“I remember having this sinking feeling in my gut and thought this was not how I pictured turning 13,” she said. “I remember my mom crying. I think she was scared as to how other kids would treat me and what it would do to my self-esteem.”
Although she had lost a lot of hair, Steed still had about 25 percent of hair left so her mom went to Sally’s Beauty Supply, bought some extensions and sewed them to a headband to make her first “wig.”
“Mom has beautiful long dark hair and I remember her crying while saying if she could give me all of her hair she would,” said Steed. “I told her no and that wouldn’t be fair. God made me this way for a reason,”
At that point, Steed knew she had to be strong for her mom or she would be worried sick about her. She told her it could be God’s way of keeping her humble.
One of her favorite memories from that time in her life when adjusting to wearing wigs came when her dad stepped out of his comfort zone to encourage his daughter.
“While my mom was out buying my first makeshift wig, my dad went to Claire’s and bought two Hannah Montana wigs. I came out of my room to find my dad in a wig with a durag tied around the top singing and sliding around the house playing air guitar pretending to be a rockstar.” laughed Steed. “He handed me the other wig and encouraged me to have fun.”
Throughout her school years, Steed “lived and breathed” softball and found it gave her the confidence she lacked. She started playing catcher at four-years-old and continued with the sport into high school.
One of her most vulnerable moments came during a playoff game one season when her wig tape wouldn’t stick anymore and her wig started falling off.
“I called my mom frantically asking is she had brought anymore tape with her but she hadn’t,” said Steed. “I knew playing catcher that I needed to either tape my wig or not wear it at all. I mean how embarrassing would it have been to throw my helmet off to catch a foul ball and throw my whole wig off too.”
Not knowing what to do, her team encouraged her to just wear a bandana.
“Up until that point very few people had seen me without my wig on. It was a very vulnerable moment for me but I played that game without my wig and it was some of the best softball I’ve ever played,” laughed Steed.
Not being worried about her wig falling off or how she looked, Steed was able to focus on the game and helped her team make it to the next round of playoffs.
However, what happened next truly changed her life forever.
“At the pep rally my teammates encouraged me to only wear my bandana and then they all surprised me by showing up in bandanas as well,” said Steed with tears in her eyes. “Our Athletic Director at the time, Coach Hasley even showed up to our next playoff game in a bandana in honor of me. The feeling of support still makes me tear up to this day.”
And while Steed had the support of all those around her and many of her friends thought it was cool she could change her hair all the time, she still battled with truly embracing Alopecia.
“I told everyone I embraced it but truthfully I hadn’t. I accepted it instead of embracing it,” she said. “I was constantly comparing myself to other girls and I lost all my confidence I had gained in high school after dating guys who weren’t so nice.”
Steed said too often she settled for the wrong guys and started to get embarrassed about being bald. Over time, she began to think of Alopecia as a burden.
“I had a guy tell me the only reason he didn’t want to date me was that he thought it was weird I wore wigs. Another guy told me that he thought I was pretty without a wig but I was a whole lot prettier when I would wear my wigs,” she said. “I just wanted to be normal.”
With a love for kids and helping people, Steed went off to college and graduated from TAMUC with a teaching degree in 2017. And although she says college was fun, it was also a blur.
“I did not make good choices and I could feel myself pulling away from my family,” said Steed. “I began to develop a hardened outlook on love but there’s something about heartbreak that really gets you in a vulnerable place and I, yet again, found myself in that place.”
However, this time it was different and in desperation Steed said she dropped to her knees in prayer.
“I remember being so fed up and heartbroken one night that for the first time in my life I hit my knees in a prayer of desperation. I truly prayed and meant what I said. I asked God to heal my heart and prepare it for my husband. I asked for Him to open my eyes and show me His plan for my life.”
Over the next few weeks, Steed started doing things for herself again. She had a job she loved at Chisum Middle School as a math teacher and assistant softball coach and even joined a co-ed softball team in Paris.
But little did Steed know, she would soon meet her future husband, Brayden and the man who would make her feel more loved and beautiful, with or without a wig than ever.
“I was playing second base when I saw this shaggy blonde-haired kid walk up to the plate and I was mesmerized,” laughed Steed. “He hit the ball and I was watching him round first out of the corner of my eye when bam I’m being run over by this handsome man. He literally swept me off my feet.”
Turns out, Steed used to live next door to Brayden’s grandma and he knew exactly who she was.
Over the next few weeks, the two spent more and more time together and Steed felt more confident than ever.
“One night I came home to a scavenger hunt throughout my house. This sweet man had left me clues that led up to my favorite song ‘These Walls’,” she said. “He courted me like a real gentleman and even went to church with me.”
As time went on, Brayden encouraged Steed to let him see her with her wig off.
“I remember when I finally took it off in front of him. I was so embarrassed and waiting on the cringe or change in facial expression but all I saw in his eyes was love,” she said, “He held me close and told me how beautiful I was with or without hair.”
That “look” was the same look he had in his eyes when he saw his bride walk down the aisle on Nov. 23 without a wig.
“Brayden’s always told me how beautiful I am bald and how I should embrace it. So I surprised him and did our first look with a wig on but I walked down the aisle bald,” said Steed. “He was so shocked. He cried and I did too. I did that because that’s exactly who he’s marrying. He’s marrying me for all of me, including Alopecia.”
After years of finding confidence through Alopecia, Steed is now thankful she has it.
“It’s really shaped me into the person I am today. It’s taught me to look at someone’s heart, not their outer appearance. It’s helped me show compassion for others and be someone that girls can look up to! God called me to be a light and although I struggle sometimes, I do my best to let Him shine through me,” said Steed. “I wouldn’t be this happy or outgoing if it wasn’t for Him.”
Steed also uses Alopecia as a teaching tool in her classroom and teaches her kids that looks are not all that important. She shares how she walked the same halls that they do and how she survived middle school BALD.
“My students think me changing my hair is the coolest thing. They tell me my wig is ‘snatched’ or whatever that means,” laughed Steed. “I have silver hair, pink hair, white hair, brown hair, long hair, short hair…you name it, I probably have it. I love my job and I get to witness to these kids and ensure that they actually enjoy coming to school every day.”
Once questioning “why me,” Steed now looks for how she can use this gift to help others.
“Sometimes in life, we spend more of our time questioning the cards we were dealt with and asking God why when the real question we should be asking is what can I do with this? When I changed my mindset from ‘why me’ to how can I use this gift I’ve been given to help others, my life changed,” she said. “I want other girls to look at me and think how does she do that? How is she so confident and full of joy? Then I can tell them about Jesus and how he changed my life. His intention isn’t for you to wallow in the tough times. You go through the valleys to get to the other side.”
